Instant Regret

Ugh, I hate that feeling. That feeling when you consciously know you are about to make a bad decision, realize the whole time you are participating in said decision that it isn’t a good choice, and then afterwards wanting to kick your own butt for allowing yourself to go through with what you did. Instant regret.

I’m not talking about all those poor decisions that plagued our teens and twenties. I was usually blinded by something when dating the bad boy or taking that extra (or 5^th extra) shot of tequila. The bad decisions of my younger years were usually associated with alcohol, poor spending habits, and the questionable fashion trends of the early 2000s. I don’t think I want to know the amount of money I spent on Von Dutch, Juicy Couture, Captain Morgan, or Parliament Lights. What I’m talking about now is something a little different.

However, I do like to think that all the questionable choices I made back in the day were learning experiences. I will absolutely call them street smarts or learning experiences or whatever else to make myself feel better about them. And because of those experiences my kids aren’t going to get much by me. I am very grateful that social media and smart phones didn’t exist back then. Yikes. It’s enough that there is plenty of photographic evidence in a pile of photo albums tucked safely in my basement thanks to the commitment I made to always have a disposable camera in my purse.

Ok, let’s get back to the present day feeling I first referenced. The decision that triggered this regret themed post. That rare decision I recently made. What caused such turmoil?

Going through the fast food drive through.

Ugh, I’m hideous. Don’t look at me.

Also, I’m not sure if the fact that fast food consumption being one of the most questionable decisions I currently make in my life is a really good thing, or a really sad thing. I’ll have to reevaluate some things in my life.  Anyway…

What is it about fast food that is so wonderful and horrible at the same time? That awful deliciousness. The guilty pleasure that I can’t even truly enjoy because I regret eating it before I actually eat it. I regret the decision to eat fast food when just the possibility of getting fast food simply crosses my mind. I regret it when my car drives itself into the drive though line. I regret it as I place my order into the speaker. I regret it when they swipe my card (which, by the way, is way more damaging on the pocketbook than it used to be, WTH?). I regret it as I shovel it into my mouth and I really, really, really regret it the minute I retrieved and inhaled the final french fry from the bottom of the greasy bag. Damn you and your salty deliciousness.

I go through this mental mindf**k about once a month and it is always the same. When still having what we will call baby weight to lose, these snap decisions weigh more heavily than they should.  Most recently, I indulged a few days ago, but I noticed the feeling of guilt and regret was different this time.

It wasn’t the calories. It’s wasn’t the money spent. It wasn’t the “undoing” of the healthy eating I was otherwise doing. Instead it was a guilty feeling that I was able to take advantage of the convenience of utilizing a drive through safely when a person with food allergies doesn’t get the luxury of making this bad decision.

I was able to place my order, get my food, and slide into a parking spot to quickly eat my food while I was in the middle of running multiple errands that day. I didn’t have to give it another thought. When you have food allergies and decide to hit up a fast food restaurant the idea of going through the drive through is something that doesn’t really cross your mind. The drive through is meant to be quick and simple and there is nothing quick and simple about getting meal out with food allergies.

Now I am going to assume there are people with food allergies who utilize the drive through without a second thought. I have a family member with a cashew allergy—something that isn’t a staple at fast food restaurants—so I know he is able to take advantage of this convenience. But for those with dairy, gluten, egg, peanut, multiple allergies, etc…it isn’t so easy.

The simple act of asking for a hamburger and stressing that you can’t have cheese due to a dairy allergy could mean that someone may plop the cheese on the burger out of habit, then see on the ticket there shouldn’t be cheese, simply pick the cheese off the burger and serve it anyway leaving behind dairy “residue” which could in turn trigger an allergic reaction. That’s all it takes.

When you go through a drive through and are a faceless voice in a headset with no ability to witness the preparation of your food you are taking a huge risk. One I personally will not take when my children’s lives are at stake. I’m not trusting enough.

I can count on my hands the number of times I have done fast food for my kids. Never through the drive through. Here is what the process looks like*:

1. Look at the restaurant website. Note how prevalent the allergen is the food served there. Decide if the risk is low enough to attempt to get food there. Even if the restaurant is somewhere we’ve gone before we will check out the menu since items (especially since seasonal and dessert based items change frequently).
2. Go to the restaurant. Don’t utilize the drive through, but instead park and walk inside.
3. Assess the environment. There have been times it was so busy and the staff seemed overwhelmed and disorganized that we changed our minds because we didn’t feel safe and walked out. If we did choose to order the first step is to alert the cashier of the allergy and gauge the response.
4. If the response isn’t a deer-in-headlights look we will typically place an order and ask the food preparers do a quick wipe of the food prep station and change gloves. This is a request that sometimes a manager will actually instruct staff to do at first mention of the allergy without our prompting. When that happens we feel as if we found a “good” place.
5. Get the food, verify the proper protocol was followed, and take the food home to eat. At this point we have never eaten inside at a fast food restaurant. Usually one of us will go while the other parent stays home with the kids. In the event we bring the kids with to play in the play area, we will play for a while and then order the food to go.
6. Eat the food and stare at my children like a hawk, not allowing me to really relax and enjoy my meal. I have anxiety and trust issues even if I watched the entire process go down.

So, that’s what a trip to a fast food restaurant looks like for many families with food allergies. It’s not simple. It’s not quick. I could have likely made a meal in less time than it took to go through this process, but it gives my kids some sense of normalcy even though it is stress-inducing on many levels. And yes, I go through the same regret process shoving fast food in my face at my own kitchen table just like sitting in a car in a fast food parking lot. Dang those fries.

*I do not work nor have I previously worked in a fast food restaurant. I am not aware of the actual protocols in each restaurant that are (or should be) followed when a customer notes a food allergy. I am giving my perspective of what I experience and witness as a customer.